


Stranger Things

by DaiseeChain



Series: The 2005 B7 Badfic Collection [1]
Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-15 20:53:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/531576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaiseeChain/pseuds/DaiseeChain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Avon's having quite a bad day. It can only get worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stranger Things

**Author's Note:**

> First posted 01/06/2005.
> 
> From the [**b7friday**](http://b7friday.livejournal.com/) drabble challenge.
> 
> This was for the challenge 'Alien Planets', but it also fit the week previous, which was 'crossovers'.

“What are you doing to those sensors?”

“Realigning them. They are malfunctioning.”

“What makes you think so?”

“They are telling me that planet is populated entirely with shrimp.”

“Maybe it is?”

“Vila. It’s late and I’m tired. I am in no mood for frivolities.”

“Right.” Vila concentrated on the viewscreen, currently displaying a suspiciously pink planet. “But what if it really is?”

“A world populated entirely with shrimp is evolutionarily unlikely.”

“So is us being friends. Still happened.” He pronounced his ‘us’ with a z, just to annoy Avon, who shot him a glare.

The image on the viewscreen changed. Vila’s eyes widened in surprise, laced with a little greed.

“Avon!”

Avon barely glanced at him. “What is it now?”

“Look!”

Avon downed his tools and turned with sufferance toward the shrimp planet – which had been replaced with a planet covered with gold. He frowned. That couldn’t be right. He rechecked the sensors. They said it was gold. His eyebrows flattened out in irritation. It seemed the entire sensor network was bug ridden. He might have to rebuild it. The light in the cabin shifted, and he looked up in time to see the gold planet morph into a revolting shade of mauve. Something wasn’t right here.

“Maybe we should investigate in person.”

“Go down there? Are you mad? Never mind. Don’t answer that.”

“It would help me understand the flaw in the sensor network if I could see the planet.”

“I thought your computers were foolproof. Like you.”

“Very amusing Vila. Get suited up.”

“Couldn’t I just operate the teleport?”

“Not if I want to be sure of returning to the ship. Dayna will operate the controls.”

 

 

 

 

Avon was livid. Dayna watched wide eyed, with her hand covering her mouth, as he disdainfully removed yellow cream from his face. She was sure she hadn’t set him down looking like that.

“What happened?” She asked, once she was sure she wouldn’t laugh out loud.

“Catalogue.” Vila answered.

Dayna blinked. “What?”

“It is a planetary catalogue,” Avon ground out, “for a company by the name of Magrathea. Apparently they design and build custom made planets.”

Dayna didn’t know what to say. The bridge fell into almost silent contemplation, apart from a slight squelching noise as Avon attempted to remove custard from his collar.

“No malfunctioning sensors then?”

“Apparently not.”

“So what now?”

“We leave.”

Vila was aghast. “Just leave? When there’s whole planet out there that might get covered with gold again any minute now?”

“Vila we have no idea how many planets they have in their brochure. Do you really want to be around when it suddenly turns into a volatile gas giant?”

There was more slightly squelchy quietude while they all pondered the possibility.

“Not really.” Vila eventually answered.

“Well then. We are leaving.“

“Where to?”

“I do not care. Anywhere without custard will do.”

With that he departed the bridge, with as much dignity as a custard filled, leather outfit would allow.

Vila and Dayna wisely remained silent.

 


End file.
